About a bittersweet ending

So this is it. This is how empty it feels after everything is done:




Yeah, it's the above. It's like an unfinished clause after a colon without period. People never told you that? Lemme do the honor. Ladies and gentlemen, GRADUATING SUCKS.

Whatttt? Sorry for being anti-Gabriel here. *Gabriel: the angel that brought the good news in the gospel*
Yes, I hereby declare that after-graduation is another chapter in your life where you wake up and realize that instead of your routine, you are now exposed to a mountain of uncertainties. Be it trying to find a job, getting your ass to move from its place (bed) even though you don't really know what you want to do, or making coffee just because that's what people do in the movie when they wake up in the morning, right?

Never in my life, I don't know where else to go or what else to do. That maybe because I have always been in school and I L.O.V.E. that. I LOVE staying in school. However, that's the state I'm in now: I don't know where else to go or what else to do. Actually, I don't know exactly where to go or exactly what to do. There are too many options and I want to do everything. A type-A like me, I want to get a job, make some money and get drown in it (in an ocean of money, of course). Another side of me telling this stubborn fresh graduate to, as cliche as it is, just find experience, make mistakes, and try everything I might be interested in. There is always the betrayer, a voice in the secret, dark, place, telling me to specifically do what I know what I'm passionate about and neither wasting time trying everything nor thinking about the financial aspect of whatever I want to do. Then, here she comes, the adventurer, the one that persuades me to do some crazy stuff like grad trip for a year or just go back home and have my never-ending-after-graduation-pause.

As they keep on debating, I'm left behind, more confuse than ever before.

Hush! Enough for the anti-Gabriel session. Now, why skipping the best moments of graduation? The actual day of commencement!

I'm extremely happy for the chance to meet these people from the beginning, to share with them one of the most important steps in my life, and for their willingness to take part in my journey. These people will always be acknowledged.

Mom. and she brings with her (can't you see it? It's in her heart!): My Daddy and Billy.

Yeah, you know him...

and of course my Wilshire Warriors!

My lovely CG Sesuatu and my soul sisters...

 My ISA!

                                 

I even write my "remarks". I don't know when to say it, so I just put it here.

Thank God for giving me life to live, hope to endure, and blessings to enjoy. I wanna thank papi, mami for being democratic parents. For asking me questions and letting me think for myself, and for giving me answers to decide what exactly black and white are. I’d like to thank Billy for telling me that you don’t need to be older to rebuke your sister. And also noenoe for his endless support. Last but certainly not the least, I would especially thank you guys, my beloved friends, in Wilshire, Sesuatu, ISA and others for teaching me that friends are not those you got, but those you keep. Thank you.

For other reasons that will never ever be enough to be expressed with words,

twas nice seeing you.

I'm so very blessed.

About contradictory power of love

Poison and Wine - The civil wars

This song must have some kind of additives. I've been listening to this over and over and over again, and I still can't get my mind over it. It's POISONous, in a sense that it kills my love for other songs, yet just like WINE, it calms my nerves. *See what I did there?*


In all seriousness, who named their band "The civil wars?" Kudos to Joy Williams and John Paul White. No, I didn't know them because of The Hunger Games or Taylor Swift. I knew them way back before they win Grammy Awards.


About the song: JW (Joy Williams) – Love has a way of ripping you apart just as much as it has a way of holding you together, and this piece is a gut-level-honest tug and pull of affection and affliction felt between two lovers. 


Love is not just about affection. It's a choice of being present in the circle of affection, even though it burns out. Being in love is falling out of love with someone, yet deliberately choosing to stay. It's not a commitment, because commitment is based on understanding what ones are signed up for. It's love when you don't even know how to weigh the costs and benefits. It's intuitive, not predictable. While commitment is a pledge, love gives you options.


That's why Best-Friend-A didn't say anything when Best-Friend-B decided to date C even though A liked B so damn much. B and C loved each other after all.
That's why my mom didn't kick me out when I said I wanted a whole different direction in life.
That's why my dad works hard to provide.


Love rips you apart, and pull you back together. All in all, it proves its abilities to attract more opportunities and possibilities. Love never shuts you down.