It might not ever crossed our mind, but we endure pain. We choose to endure pain.
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." -Haruki Murakami-
*and by "we," i mean humans
We are survivors. We've been around for centuries. The fact that we're still here is a proof of our endurance. Some of us, the masochists, even enjoy it; some of us might always try to run away from it, but at any rate, we succeed.
*so raise your glass, would you?*
I understand that this is not a scholarly article by any means. I don't define "pain", "suffering", "endurance", or even "to succeed." There is no such thing as universal pain, nor universal suffering. I do pay attention that a very questionable characteristic of pain is whether it is constant. If it is constant, how can we differentiate it with our normal condition, our "painless moments?" If it is not constant, why can we feel that some kind of pain is always there, like it never goes away?
I notice constant pain in people. A funny thing about pain is that you can locate pain inside someone. It may be just a woman thing, you know. My significant other is disturbed by the fact that I "observe" people too much. I never mean to do that. He always says that I am too sensitive, to which I reply with denial that I am not sensitive, but paying attention.
Some constant pain that I found in people includes bitterness, loneliness, inability to achieve/express freedom, and the absence of meaning of life. Let's get back to the core for a moment. Does constant pain exist? I stated earlier, "If it is constant, how can we differentiate it with our normal condition, our "painless moments?" Let me take that back. It's a little bit ignorant (1) to assume that just because you feel it constantly, we can't feel it anymore and (2) to assume as if all pain is the same. You might experience pain all the time, in different scope and texture. Perhaps pain is ice cream. Eating ice cream everyday, you still can feel that it is ice cream. Eating ice cream everyday in different flavors, you can distinguish different flavors of ice cream. A cool thing about human is that we can feel something and we can get the idea of how the opposite thing feels like at the same time. Doesn't make any sense?
An example:
I feel happy. I feel constantly happy, but I know what it feels like if I'm sad. I might feel bored because I feel happy all the time, but that doesn't omit the feeling of being happy, nor make happy and sad indistinguishable.
If it is not constant, why can we feel that some kind of pain is always there, like it never goes away?
Yes we do. We feel that some kind of pain is always there and never goes away. And we do different approach to handle this. We take it as a suffering (depression kind of approach), or we toss it in the trash (ignorance), or we endure it with a belief that it will go away.
What should we do about it?
I think the best way to take care of pain, is to find meaning in pain. I am not the first one to think that. Victor Frankl believes that we should find the meaning of life, that our lives might not be the "best," but the key is to find the purpose of what the worst lives contain.
We should not take it as a suffering, because suffering wastes your time. Suffering leads you to another state of mind: hopeless. Hopeless conquers you. It eats you up inside and makes you wander around with no compass or maps or GPS. Being hopeless makes you lost.
With meaning, you always find the way to go back. You will create your own map, even though you have, let's say, fallen into the trap of suffering.
What could be it? The one with such grandeur, meaning in constant pain or just pain in general?
Anything.
Anything that you define as the meaning will keep you going. The question is whether you believe you can get out of the constant pain, or pain in general, for the pursuit of that meaning? If you can't find the answer, think again. I'm not saying that you should find meaning in diminishing poverty, or educating the uneducated, or other WOW-THAT'S-HUGE kinda things, but starting with something bigger than yourself is never a bad direction.
Which leads me to my next point, it's never JUST.ABOUT.YOURSELF.
My premise here is that the meaning of constant pain or pain should be something bigger than ourselves. Let me explain what I mean. Let's say you endure pain because you want to make your mom happy. Is it bigger than you? It's not about you. It's about your mom. So it should be considered bigger than you, right? Wrong. The pursuit is not bigger than yourself if you think that you want to make your mom happy because she has been there for you first. It's still about you. It's about you giving back to your mom. It's making YOU feel happy. No, Sherlock, it's not about your mom then.
Selflessness is the key to crack hopelessness.
I know that some people and I sometimes think that we're such unlucky creatures that have to endure this pain; that out of all the misery, we're the most miserable ones. Yes, we maybe are. I don't know about you,
Les Misérables, but I want to be liberated. I am walking away and I am making a history by going out of my shell and defeating my pain. I want you to do that too. I want you to join me.
Some people think that this is a no-brainer. For those people, it might be surprising that some others just don't want to let go. I am very disappointed that one of my used-to-be best friend is one of those that don't want to let go.
I hope you find comfort in whatever you choose. Sorry, I think you're such a goose.
